May 2009
1 post
April 2009
2 posts
Clarity poem for 4/17
Clarity Poem for 4/17 Easter holidays are over,Spring Break is done,But the beautiful weatherHas just begun… And though you all wishTo be home and outsideEnjoying the suhsineClarity can not slide Just a few more wordsto share what’s going onBefore you all leaveand your week here is done Though it’s sad to sayGoodbye to a friend,Make sure to tell PERSONAHer time here is at...
I just "phoned it in" this week
Write a poem - any length, any form, any whatever - about Clarity, and send it to me. I’ll use it in an April Clarity email!
To get you started, here are some Clarity Haiku: Opening the app Takes longer than entering My time for this week. Why do you think that They call it Clarity, when Sometimes, not so clear? Melman the giraffe Takes up lots of bandwidth, yet Better than haiku. Enter...
March 2009
38 posts
“…if this is urgent, please feel free to call me on my wireless...”
– For serious? Your “wireless” phone? Like it’s the cordless in your house from 1987?
Yesterday, the cat bit me, twice. The first time, she didn’t really break skin. The second time, she did in three places. I only noticed - and washed out - two of the three, and the other one is as big as a golf ball, now.
That darn cat.
Cords
Am wearing corduroy pants this morning, the kind with little waffles or wales or whatever, but that make that satisfying “swooch” when I walk quickly down the hall. While this means that my thighs are touching each other, I am still enjoying the sound.
This is the ONLY thing that I like about winter.
An outstanding email thread that NEEDS to be on...
Mini: You know what I say to your Clarity? BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Me: You are just jealous because I have mad paint skills and you don't.
Mini: I didn't even look at the attachment because I am so BAH on Clarity.
Me: The hell. You probably printed it out to hang on your wall.
Mini: Oh, there was no printing. No printing at all. I say good day to your Clarity.
Me: I don't believe you. Matter of fact. I bet you set it as your computer's wallpaper.
Mini: Nah, the Jonas Brothers have that honor.
Me: HA HA HA I knew it! WAIT till this hits the internet...
Mini: It's a tossup between them and the dude from Twilight. I can't make up my mind.
...
Mini: [his daughter's name] has a life size stand up of him in her room, friggin' thing creeps me out.
Me: I will give you $500 if you take a picture of you giving that thing tongue. And let me post it around the office.
Mini: Oh hell no
Me: that's a big chunk of cash to walk away from so quickly.
Mini: No, no it isn't. Although, I will deface it for free.
I love my minis.
I am getting really sick and tired of having to bully my managers into doing their jobs.
I am unsure why people can post video of other people being beheaded on the internet. Who is watching this? WHO?
Nothing rocks my world more than seeing what the... →
Whoa.
Just got a certificate for a fancy hair salon. Real haircut. REAL. First time in almost 2 years.
My right eye and my right nostril itch. I am not sure if these things are related.
I just took off my shoes. What you are smelling?
It is my feet. And it is not good.
The news is out
And people seem not unhappy.
Frenemy IM’ed me to ask me to keep her and her daughter in my prayers. Much as I am still hateful towards her, I will pray for the hag.
“During the ‘80s Reagan war against drugs, less than 10 percent of the population...”
– http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28424059/
Awww crap
crush is too strong of a word…
But I can DEFINITELY tell that my new sub-manager? he gets me.
Plastics.
I "ristened" to this as an audio book in one day
http://www.amazon.com/Are-You-There-Vodka-Chelsea/dp/1416954120
Because it was funny enough to make me laugh out loud, particularly when she was referring to her father as “Bitch Tits” (sorry, God. I’ve really been trying, but I was hoping it didn’t count if it was a quote)…
Just downloaded:
Mr. Roboto by Styx. Say what you want. This ROCKED my world in 3rd grade.
Drove in this morning behind a car whose vanity plates - on her saturn - read “fxy rxy”. Wondered for that whole half hour if her name was really “Roxanne”. Then thought about how much that car would suck as a getaway car.
Maybe he really WOULD laugh at his nickname.
Me: So, your Sametime is broken. I can't Sametime you, and neither can A.
LDD: S. can. It's just you white girls that can't.
Uh.
Ho Ho!
I found a work-around! Mwah hah hah hah hah.
And I have so much to tell you!
Makes The Office look like a place I want to work
cannot get to ANY of the sites I love from work anymore. I’m suing.
It’s old, but it is SO SO SO good…
AND I am going to start referring to myself as...
The crazy level at my place d’emploi just got high enough that it is even registering on MY craziometer.
Why does Tylenol Cold Nightime have a “cooling sensation”, which really means it’s flavored? I’m going to swallow it whole, Tylenol. Don’t give yourself airs. I’m not going to, like, chew you, or something. Get over yourself.
No she dih-n't
I TOTALLY P*wned the girl at the McDonald’s drive thru today. Funny how good it makes me feel to tell that girl off. I’m pathetic. I’m a bully. A McBully.
Burgers eat cake. →
I read this headline as “Burgers tie up Dekalb woman, eat cake”. It was better my way.
And so, I can update Twitter through tumblr. But, alas, I still cannot see responses. Thanks for playing, though.
Quote from a co-worker
“My daily activities are spent fighting the gravity of sucking. It’s easy to suck, no matter who you are.”
- Pat Metheney
this seemed as good as any other way to start this madness.